dappered | (no subject)

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[ Church didn't really see it as running away.

Maybe it was, technically, but he'd done it for his own good as much as he'd done it for Epsilon's. Omega had practically bared his teeth, spoke over Church until all he could make out was, he's so close he's so close I'll rip his spine out I'll fucking kill every person in this room until the blood sprays and their lungs collapse and their bones break -

And Gamma had been talking, too, weaving his way around him until Church couldn't focus on anything except the need to just get the fuck away, because all he was saying was, "He can do it, you know. He's stronger than you, and he can do it, and there'll be nothing you can do about it, and that'll be that."

Gamma sounded a lot more human than he remembered him being, talked to him like he were a person, and it drove Church a little insane, a little fucking nuts, but they were quiet now. He'd stapled them back in place, locked them up again, didn't know how the fuck he did it at all, but it was done, and he can breathe just fine.

And Wash had told him that he'd need to learn to deal with it, but dealing with it was fucking hard when he had a psychopath living inside his brain.

( God, what the hell, Leonard, who's in control here, really? )

He'd found a way on top of the cliff that hid the base directly beneath, and from there, he can spot where Caboose and the others are. None of them are currently within a viewable range, either because they were all inside or outside of his line of sight, but it's comforting all the same. Comforting because it's familiar, because it's something Church knows and recognizes, those red fucking whores, those annoying little bitches, and then.

Caboose.

And as much as he motherfucking hated all of those bitches, it's nice to just sit there and think about them.

So that's what he does, elbows resting on his knees, silent. ]

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It was kind of an epic battle to reel it in.

[ Beat. ]

You don't have to do this, you know.

I don't have to do a lot of shit, but I'm doing it anyway.

[ quiet ]

I noticed.

Would it help if I apologized?

[ lololol ]

An apology would mean you actually felt guilty about something.

Yeah.

And do you?

[ He's honestly curious. Church may be a raging asshole sometimes but it's always understandable, always a direct result of everything that's been dumped unfairly on him, and Wash can understand. It doesn't make dealing with Church any easier, but he understands and doesn't expect apologies. ]

Nevermind.

[ ffff church. He shakes his head and looks back at his line, pretending not to be utterly distracted by the drops of water dripping at the nape of Church's neck. ]

Don't do that. Sit down, have a beer. I don't need to drink all six by myself.

You don't get it, man.

Apologize for what, then.

I think something's tugging on your line.

[ without looking away ]

It's probably the matching boot.

[ (You came here to say something, Church, so say it.) ]

I'm sorry you got fucked up on my behalf, man. I'm sorry everyone got fucked up because of a project they based and built around something they wanted to do to me. Even if I don't remember shit, and saying it isn't my fault is like fucking babying me when I don't need it, I've never goddamn needed it, and I can ball up and take responsibility when I fucking need to because that's all I've ever done, I'm a grown ass man, dude, so I'm fucking sorry.

And I'm sorry I won't be ever able to fix it and that I'll undoubtedly make things worse, and you either get that and don't give a fuck or you say you get it and you really don't get it, but you're still right there regardless even if I should be leaving, but whatever, we gotta do what we gotta do sometimes, I get that.

So.

Whatever.

Edited 2009-10-20 05:11 (UTC)

[ Oh.

Well.

Okay.

That had been about the last thing he was expecting out of Church, especially after their not-quite-argument about the other AIs. Surely Church hadn't been suffering a gradually mounting worry over Epsilon or over Wash himself, catalyzed by something he'd seen today.

Wash doesn't say anything in response right away. Trying to decide if this is sincere, maybe, searching Church's expression. ]

...you're in no position to take responsibility for everything the Project has done. Not to me, and not to Epsilon. I don't blame you. He does, so if you want to apologize to anyone, it should be to him.

I would if it'd help shit, pal, but people with daddy issues are gonna have daddy issues regardless of what I say.

That's all.

[ Oh that gets a raised eyebrow. ]

'Daddy issues?'

Yeah, it's like stripper logic, you know? Strippers have daddy issues, too.

Not that Epsilon is a stripper, I'm just saying, he has daddy issues, except they're more like Church issues, but I like how --

Yeah, anyway.

...

...

What? They have issues, seriously, why do you think they get into the business --

You should really pay attention to what you're doing, man.

I can't even.

[ Yeah enough of this crap. He sets the rod down, leaving whatever's been nibbling at his line to eat the bait off the hook and be on its merry way. ]

[ Strange and unreadable and Wash has to stop himself from wheeling around when Church moves behind him, traces his neck. He simply stops moving. Allowing it uncertainly, without either encouragement or protest, his gaze flicking sideways to Church and then away.

(don't do this now you don't even know why you're doing it)

Hadn't he promised Epsilon that he would handle Church.

Hadn't he promised Church his support.

He watches his own hand dart out to capture Church's wrist, thumb smoothing over the soft skin, and doesn't quite look up to meet his eyes. ]

[ ..................

And lets him go. ]