more Retired AU

[jesses]

[ so he probably should have expected that his wish to visit tim's universe would be treated as a monkey's paw situation, because fucking magic. there must have been some part of him that was-- still hesitating.

some part of him still desperate for an escape hatch.

the device embedded in his chest glows faintly blue through his shirts. tim's got this place rigged out with everything anybody could possibly want, including some medical equipment-- all the x-rays and tests can tell them is that it would probably be a very bad idea to try and remove the device.

also, when jason experimentally tried to poke at it a little with a knife, he found himself inexplicably unable to start cutting, so apparently it has ways of protecting itself. and him.

it's a loophole. an escape hatch. all jason has to do is want it hard enough, and he can go somewhere else. anywhere else. technically he is, at this point, the most free he's ever been and ever will be.

so obviously he spends 99% of his time inside the tower like an agoraphobic. wayne enterprises really does have more money than god, apparently; the place is like a vertical mansion. there's swimming pools, gardens, gyms, super high tech vr training areas. jason doesn't even know how many bathrooms there are. everything and anything can be delivered here without him having to interact with real people. there's actually no reason for him to ever venture down below like, the 15th floor.

and this isn't even tim's actual for-real batbase. this is just a building. it's the stuff of movies, just as fantastical as magic sex city had been. the unreality of it makes it more bearable, somehow.

the secret kept wife schtick has been sustaining him so far. he cooks, he dresses up for tim because it's funny, he trains when he feels restless, he plays video games; there's really a lot of the world he missed out on, back when he was training in the jungles and amassing mercenary armies and shit. there's a lot of celebrity gossip to catch up on. memes. instagram. tiktok.

he embraces civilian-ness, or at least the kind of life he attributes to civilians. jason hasn't been a real hand to god civilian since he was like. ten years old.

in any case, he does not go crime-fighting. he does not put on the armor. he does not let himself get weird about tim going on missions, although he sits and chainsmokes and frets anyway. tim has handled himself for years before jason ever got here. tim has got allies and friends and all the back-up he could need. obviously. jason would probably just get in the way, be a liability in the field.

also the minute he shows his face as a new player on the scene, he won't be able to hide anymore. if he lets himself go out and get... entangled, it will never stop. he'll back in the life, and he doesn't know if he can handle it.

doing nothing every day is a waste of his training, of course, but there's also something cathartic in that. something spiteful and vindictive. in putting off the decision, in choosing to do nothing at all, at least he's exerting control.

it's a landmine he's not expecting, when superboy of all fucking people drops onto the roof and starts a fight with tim about all the-- stuff. the word 'imprisonment' is used, which, ridiculous. tim isn't keeping jason here. jason can't be kept anywhere, he's got a magic orb embedded in his fucking chest that lets him skip between realities, he can't be held prisoner.

also, jason's a super villain from another universe. if anything, the security around him ought to be much tighter. he presumes that's the real root of the fight, that jason is dangerous etc and tim is risking everybody by letting him into gotham at all, but kon seems to be needling tim about something specific.

probably the 'secretly dating an alternate reality version of a guy you have really complicated history with' thing.

the rooftop argument is bad. being invited out to lunch/a public interrogation is so, so much worse. jason is obviously supposed to be on his best behavior, no actively psychotic super villains here, nope, but ten minutes in he's down to monosyllable answers only when spoken to directly and desperately wishing to be anywhere else, which makes the orb act up. kon looks at him with hard eyes and a clenched jaw when he bothers to look at jason at all, which, yep, fucking ok, message received. he shouldn't be here. he doesn't belong here.

he cannot lash out. he cannot act on anything he wants to do, all his terrible instincts when cornered. he just has to sit and be quiet and endure. if he panics and starts a fight that he can't even win, it'll just be blamed on tim.

(and who would tim back, in a fight between jason and superboy, his friend and teammate?)

kon and tim are having some sort of awful semi-polite conversation that might as well be in another language. they've known each other so much longer. jason stops even trying to follow it, staring out the window at the busy street outside.

would it cause a riot, if he just used the orb to skip out and vanish? would anybody notice? would tim and his bestest buddy even notice, deep as they are in their own shit?

when it's all over and they're back at the tower, jason does not give into his first instinct to drown himself in the pool or destroy all the equipment in the gym and instead goes directly to the liquor cabinet so he can mix some sedatives with alcohol in a non-physician approved way. ]

[ brightly, ]

That went well.

Comments

[notlikeanyone]

[ Tim was expecting some kind of visit to happen, eventually, but he'd been expecting it to be another Bat that found out first. This is just a reminder not to underestimate Kon's super senses, or forget that his best friend actually worries about him enough to check on him sometimes, even when it means being a meta wandering into Gotham. Especially lately.

Especially after... well.

Well, Kon doesn't have to even say it, not out loud, in as many words. He just has to say something veiled and pointed, just has to give Tim that look, and he knows exactly what he means. That he's worried that Tim is falling into another crazy obsessive depression spiral, that this is unhealthy and messed up, and, okay, it's not not messed up, looking at it objectively, but also shut up, Kon. He has no idea the life Tim has lived in Eudio, with this Jason and the others, and Tim doesn't really want to go into too many details about it with him.

So, lunch is awkward, and tense, but he proves his point that he's not keeping Jason prisoner - that he's not that far gone. Kon is clearly still unhappy, uncertain, worried about him, probably worried for Jason even if he can't show it without just coming off angry and judging because it's complicated. Of course it's complicated, for him, for Tim as well.

Once they're back, he's not surprised to see Jason head for the liquor cabinet. He gets the feeling he has some explaining to do, but for now, he flops on the couch with a sigh. This is a Tim style flop, of course, so he's just in one corner of the couch tucking his legs up under him, but still. ]

It could have gone worse.

[jesses]

You're right, it could've been the big guy instead.

[ that would've been much worse. he crushes three pills of unknown origin with the bottom of a glass, and sweeps the powder into the glass and pours it half-full. that's gone in one swallow, and then he's just gonna drink right out of the bottle. ]

So, you think he'll be back to throw me into Arkham? ...is there still an Arkham, here?

[notlikeanyone]

[ Uhhh he's not sure if he should be concerned by those pills Jason is taking, with alcohol? ]

What? No, he's not going to - he knows what Arkham is like, Jason. [ Not that that stops them from sending any of Gotham's supervillains there but, to be fair, where else could they send someone like the Joker? ] Besides, he was worried about me keeping you prisoner, he's not going to send you off to get locked up somewhere else.

[ He raises an eyebrow. ]

Should I be worried about those pills you just took?

[jesses]

Yeah, he was worried about you keeping a super villain from another reality as a pet.

[ that's what jason heard, anyway.

he scoffs, more at the bottle than at tim. ]

Relax, I know how to self-medicate. In half an hour I'll be passed out, which is probably the best outcome here.

[notlikeanyone]

There's more to it than that.

[ He gets up from the couch and moves over to the bar to frown at the bottle, and then shifts his gaze to the other ones behind the bar. As if he's considering making his own drink, but there are cans of soda back there too. ]

He's still half-convinced you're a clone I made in the basement. - Are you even going to remember this conversation after you wake up?

[jesses]

[ lmfao he is absolutely not going to remember and that is by design ]

Sure I'll remember.

[ timmy that doesn't even make sense, who in the hell would want a clone of jason. any jason. ]

That's ridiculous. Isn't original flavor Todd still here somewhere, running amok? Why would anybody want a copy?

[notlikeanyone]

He's not running amok.

[ Grumbled as he fishes behind the bar for a can of grape zesti. Yeah he considered the hard liquor for a moment but he could not do it. ]

Cool, then it's fine if I tell you some important things and give you a pop quiz later.

[ He's not giving Jason a chance to answer that (it wasn't a question) before cracking his soda can open and barrelling straight on. ]

We're not talking about just anybody wanting a copy, we're talking about me.

[jesses]

[ see this responsible boyscout behavior right here, choosing soda over the good stuff, is exactly why jason doesn't Get It. ]

O--kay?

Have you got a thing for clones, is that it?

[ he's about to say that's not even a weird fetish in their line of work, but as soon as the words are out of his mouth a thought visibly occurs to him, slow horror dawning on his face ]

Oh. Does that mean-- you and Superboy, huh?

[notlikeanyone]

[ Chokes on his zesti. ]

No?! No - no, me and Superboy aren't - ughhh.

[ He drags a hand down his face and groans. ]

Okay, let me - first of all, no. It's not like that. I don't have a thing for clones, and Superboy is my best friend - just my best friend. We've never, uh, been together, or anything.

But when he died I did try to make a clone of him and he knows about eighty percent of how much of a messed up Bat-freak I am in general, so, you know.

[jesses]

[ alright give him a second to try and parse this. the sedatives are already making him run a little slower. cloning a dead person probably does sound horrifying to somebody else, but jason finds himself irritated with kon, instead; it's his fault for dying. tim wouldn't have done any of it otherwise. ]

So he's mad because he fucked off and died and left you behind, and you did something-- okay, we'll call it a little bit out there-- while being, presumably, very upset, and you didn't even succeed, cos there isn't a second Superboy running around.

Were you just supposed to let him go?

[notlikeanyone]

[ Somehow he wasn't expecting Jason to take his side in this, but it - feels good? To feel validated, after literally everyone else who heard about it had been (rightfully) horrified by it. He lets himself lean up against Jason's arm with a drily amused huff. ]

Yes, I was supposed to let him go. I was supposed to be - smart enough, level-headed enough, normal enough to realise it was better to let him go. That even if I'd succeeded in cloning him, it wouldn't have been him. Which I get now, but yeah, I was upset at the time. Even changed my uniform's colours to match his t-shirt.

And made out with his girlfriend. In my underground cloning lab. A lot - a lot of bad decisions happened.

[jesses]

[ it's automatic, when tim leans against his arm jason reflexively moves to wrap it around his shoulders and pull him closer.

they didn't sit next to each other at lunch. jason had-- just as automatically-- felt the impulse and squashed it down as weakness in front of a hostile party, to want tim at his shoulder.

he smiles savagely at nothing. ]

Oh, because you're a Bat, and-- and you-know-who has the greatest track record of all time for coping well with grief, and he taught all his little proteges how to successfully shut off their feelings and get the job done? That's fucking bullshit.

Bats don't let go of anything. Ever. If your boy hadn't left, there wouldn't have been a problem.

[ jason stop making everything about u. he does react when tim mentions the girlfriend, some twinge of jealousy making his arm tighten. ]

--was she hot?

[notlikeanyone]

[ It's just as automatic for Tim to respond by leaning into that tug, and some of the tension ebbs out of him as he lets himself relax into it. ]

I'm not blaming him for dying.

[ All the rest of that is completely valid, though. And then Jason's arm tightens around him, and he takes a moment before nodding. ]

It was Wonder Girl.

[ So, obviously, she was hot. ]

AND THE NEXT DAY: an inevitable disaster

[jesses]

[ apparently jason was lying about knowing how to self-medicate because he's still passed out by the tim has to get up, and by the time tim gets back for the day--

there's a note on the counter. there is a distinct lack of jason, and jason's stuff, including his arkham knight gear.

the note is 100% incoherent, because jason says he can't remember the fight they must have had and doesn't want to have it again, that he knows he was always a bad bet and he's sorry for pushing himself into tim's life, etc. it's clearly a 'well you can't fire me because i QUIT' thing.

allssssooo he did steal a bunch of tim's gear/gadgets. and some money. and like some watches and stuff. he definitely stole the ugly red robin cowl/helmet, although tim probably has more than one of those.

and a bottle of tim's fancy cologne, and the shirt tim was wearing yesterday, for inexplicable dumbass reasons. ]

[notlikeanyone]

[ Tim puts a blanket over Jason before he leaves, and manages to get a pillow under his head too, so coming back to find a distinct absence is - unexpected. The note is also completely baffling, and Tim can only stare at it for a moment with a lack of understanding before it clicks, and his expression draws down into a scowl.

The worst part, of course, is that he'd known Jason was bullshitting him about remembering everything when he woke up, clearly, but he'd still thought that maybe, just maybe, there'd be enough of a memory of their conversation to keep him settled so Tim could refresh him on the rest. Stupid. He should have left his own note, so Jason wouldn't bolt like this, probably fogged with sleep and lingering drugs and needlessly catastrophising events in his head.

No, okay. Okay, the actual worst part is that Tim ran into Steph, and they talked, and he's brought her back with him to meet his Mystery Roommate (it's not a mystery, not to her, not after they'd talked on gargoyle back) and now she gets to see... this. The remnants of another universe's Jason Todd bugging out. She's reading the note. ]

That idiot - we didn't even fight!

[ Steph raises her eyebrow at him, uh huhh, and he growls out a groan and drags a hand down his face. She follows at his ankles as he catalogues exactly what gadgets Jason has taken with him, which has her frowning in concern, obviously. The fact that Jason took his shirt from last night and a bottle of his cologne stops them both, that concern turning to confusion, and then Steph gives him a look, her mouth starting to curl into a disbelieving smile, and he flushes and hurries her out the door. Okay thanks Steph, okay goodnight, bye, I'll handle him - this. I'll handle this...

So, obviously, by the time he pulls on a spare domino mask and follows the tracker... the trackers, in his gear and on his shirt and cologne bottle, to land softly and silently in the shadows behind Jason, he is

pissed. ]

What the fuck.

[jesses]

[ so his first idea of running back to his home reality was-- let's call it optimistic. he lasted about five minutes, standing on a random rooftop just staring out at the city, before it started fucking raining and he realized that he did not actually want to go through the whole exhausting process of checking out his old safehouses and/or trying to set up a new one. he had the cash and the gear to make things happen, he just... didn't have the will.

he also thought about finding the nearest dive bar and drinking himself unconscious, but then he'd have to do something about his goddamned armor, and also he would probably reflexively knife the first person that tried to get into his bag and steal tim's stuff.

then he thought about calling dick, thought about oracle catching him on camera, and then wouldn't you know, he was suddenly somewhere else between one heartbeat and the next. the thing embedded in his chest stopped humming, and the panic receded like a tide.

so. that was a thing. clearly he wasn't in any shape to be assisting dick right now, if he couldn't manage to stay in one reality for longer than a few minutes without his own personal ejector seat magically activating due to his fragile feelings.

(it really was the monkey paw thing. he'd asked the magic space wizard people for freedom, since they said he'd contributed enough to count for more than one guy's spleen as his ultimate magic wish, and he'd thought it was too good to be true. he probably should have asked for, like, a mute button for emotions.)

the orb had not dumped him back in tim's reality, thank god, but some other gotham with a nearly unrecognizable skyline. the only thing that told him it was gotham at all was a billboard with the city name on it.

he wasn't even a little curious. he was just tired. his magic phone was in the bottom of the backpack, resolutely turned off, probably filling up with texts and missed calls from another reality. or maybe there'd be no contact at all. maybe tim had realized, after the fight they definitely had that he can't remember, that there was no point to this. it was rule #1 in every fable, every story. you can't go back in time to fix things, and you can't retire to a cabin in the woods or another hemisphere or an alternate reality and expect nothing bad to happen. karma would catch up.

if you stopped moving.

so, for about 72 hours (although he's not sure how time works whilst reality-hopping), he runs and doesn't stop. he blips through gothams. the orb wouldn't take him to metropolis or star city or anywhere else unless he concentrated really hard, fixating on some particular location. it dumps him in front of the Daily Planet, but in the middle of traffic. it dumps him in someone's backyard kiddie pool. it dumps him on a beautiful tropical beach, but there's a volcano erupting in the distance. it dumps him in gotham. in gotham again. in gotham again. in the middle of a shoot-out. in the middle of a street fight. in the middle of... ninjas?

it dumps him on the front steps of what might have been wayne manor, and he's gone again before he can even take a breath, hand clutched over his chest.

finally, he stops running. he's in gotham again, and this one looks more familiar, but honestly they were all starting to blur together.

this seems like a great time to pull out the expensive bourbon he'd stolen, and maybe just walk the rooftops for a little while and drink. there's shuriken sticking out of his shoulder armor. his helmet filters are clogged by volcanic ash. his boots are fucking wet. there's a bullet hole in the backpack, which probably means there's a bullet embedded in one of tim's toys.

he probably walks right past tim, at first.

but he whips around when tim speaks, faceplate snapping down, and uhhh does throw that heavy glass bottle of liquor at the threatening figure looming out of the shadows. reflexively.

oops. ]

Fuck!

[notlikeanyone]

[ Tim dodges just enough for the heavy glass bottle to swoosh past his head and smash on the hard ground behind him with an incredibly expensive kind of shattering sound, sharp and discordant. He stalks forward, scowling as he takes in the shuriken lodged in Jason's back and the hole in his backpack, the state of his uniform, and adds them to the mental pinboard to worry about later. ]

What the fuck, Jason.

[ He's repeating himself, but it feels necessary, hissed out acidly. He's reaching to grab onto the front of Jason's uniform, gripping tight, before the idiot can jump away from him again. ]

Who wakes up and runs away after imagining an argument? Unbelievable. Where have you been?

[jesses]

[ ah fucking hell.

he freezes for a second at being grabbed, which he'll have to blame on being a little drunk, and sorta forgets to lash out because-- because.

the orb does not choose to rescue him from this set of circumstances, because it is good for nothing. he turns his head to study the city more closely, and also to not look directly at tim.

this does not keep him from snapping back on autopilot. ]

Elsewhere, obviously. This piece of garbage in my chest is-- malfunctioning or something. I wasn't supposed to come back here.

[notlikeanyone]

[ Tim sucks a small, bitten-off sounding noise between his teeth. ]

Really. That's weird. Do you know why it's weird?

[ Unbelievable. Unbelievable. His fingers tighten their grip on Jason's uniform, his muscles coiled almost as tight as the feeling in his stomach. He forces his voice to come out cold, flatline, but it's tight as well. ]

Because the last thing you said to me, before passing out cuddled up on my chest on the couch, was that you'd follow me anywhere.

[ He wants to shout and punch him in his stupid helmet. ]

So.

[ But punching him would be kinder. ]

What changed your mind?

[jesses]

[ wow suddenly he's back to staring directly at tim how did that happen-- and then he jerks back out of tim's grasp violently ]

Don't remember. I was drunk as hell, apparently. I made a mistake. It was-- it was a mistake.

[ would doesn't mean should. ]

[notlikeanyone]

[ Oh. Well. He's still seething, but he also goes very, very still.

Dangerously still. ]

What was the mistake, Jason.

[jesses]

Thinkin' I'd get away with it.

[ come on tim surely they went over all this last night ]

It must be some kind of character flaw, right? Jasons Todd, always trying to steal things that don't belong to us. Tires off the Batmobile, the Robin title-- an actual Robin.

[notlikeanyone]

[ Tim is honestly not sure if the noise he makes is more of a sigh or a groan. ]

Oh my god. Let's get this straight - if anything, I stole you, idiot.

[ He gestures around with one hand - his Gotham, his world, Jason. Jason is in his Gotham. ]

That's what everyone is actually afraid of, anyway, because I have a history of obsessive cloning attempts and a future with a Desert Eagle and a personal army, all of which I told you about before, but - your real mistake, Jason, was lying to me. Saying you'd remember when you took so many drugs you passed out and forgot - everything we talked about. And I believed you.

[ Against his better instincts. He pauses to huff out a sour-sounding breath. ]

I believed you. We talked. We didn't fight. I thought - I didn't need to leave you a note or anything, just the blanket.

[jesses]

Wh-- no, the personal army and Desert Eagles are my thing. And the tanks.

[ lmao what is tim even talking about!!! ]

You didn't steal me, you invited me without either of us knowing if that was even possible. I went and asked the magic space wizard people for the means.

[ alright so they didn't have a big blowout fight last night but now they get to have it right here right now

harshly, ]

If we didn't talk about this last night, we should have. Somebody's going to come after me, Tim. The Justice League, your boss, I don't know, but somebody. I was-- stupid to think I could just hide and pretend I wouldn't get found out.

I don't belong here and they're not going to let me stay. I thought it was going to happen last night and I didn't want to be conscious for it.

[notlikeanyone]

Tanks? Who needs tanks when you've got a bunch of your super powerful meta friends you talked over to your side and a clone of Superboy? My private army could blow through yours in minutes.

[ This isn't a competition but Tim's back is thoroughly up, and he's right. He sucks in a breath and tries to calm down after that, though. ]

Listen, Jason. I'm telling you, the problem isn't as much you as you seem to think. I mean, sure, you're a violent criminal from another world, but you're not worse than my Jason, and no-one is calling the Justice League on his ass.

I told them that I rescued you. That your world was awful, so I gave you the choice to come back with me instead, and didn't tell them until now because I was giving you the chance to decide if you wanted to stay. Like you suggested, because, and I quote, why the hell should you leave just because some other people that don't even live here don't want you corrupting me. Which, by the way, makes you sound like you think you're - the bad boy romantic lead in some movie, or Ra's al Ghul, and I already had him in my ear for months. You are nowhere near that level.