[ working so hard. that might almost be funny, although shiro knows keith hadn't meant it as a joke. shiro used to fly patrol routes and combat missions and scientific missions for matt, who had been pulled away from his research with the science division when he and shiro had bonded unexpectedly, and shiro still somehow found time to assist with classes when he could. his schedule now is a bare fraction of that, and mostly consists of endless reports repeating things he'd already said, preparing and teaching his handful of classes, and running the combat obstacle course alone, at night, when there was less chance of gawking spectators. it gives him far too much time to think, and to brood over everything that's happened.
but if he has too much free time now, at least he doesn't have to make excuses to anyone to find time for keith. matt had never minded, believing firmly that dragons should be allowed to have friends like any other sentient being, and he didn't care if keith and shiro spent time together or if shiro felt like going somewhere by himself. other riders had looked sideways at them for that, given the way the garrison deliberately preached about the unbreakable devotion between dragon and captain, but shiro had never felt like he was being disloyal or too independent just because he and matt didn't spend every second of the day together. there was no reason to encourage dragons to believe that they couldn't do anything when their riders were gone, and that all they had to do with their time was sit and wait, like a powered down machine, until their captain was with them again. and shiro liked being around the cadets and hatchlings, while most dragons were happy when their promotions to combat class got them away from the training facilities.
he ought to tell keith that he's fine, that he doesn't need to be fussed over just because he spaced out during a lesson. he's been aggressively fine ever since he got back, and he's practiced at faking it, but he ducks his head a little, unconsciously, rubbing a claw against the side of his head in rueful embarrassment. ]
I'm fine, Keith, I'm just-- a little tired. [ dragons can't smile, of course, but he noses at keith's shoulder gently. ] I don't have another class today, though, and all I was going to do today was practice maneuvers and maybe run the obstacle course. Did you have something in mind?
[ Keith hadn't really meant it as a joke, no - he just didn't know how else to put it without prying too much into things Shiro clearly didn't want to talk about. He's glad when Shiro seems amused, even if he can't smile, and he's relieved that the dragon doesn't deflect him by being aggressively fine like he tends to. He still says that he's fine, of course, but at least he's admitting that he's tired, which is more than Keith has heard him say to anyone else.
He raises a hand to pat Shiro's nose when the dragon bumps his shoulder with it, characteristically gentle in the motion, and he smiles with an eagerness that's been lacking from his life, lately. ]
I'd like to watch you run the obstacle course. [ Watching Shiro fly and navigate obstacles was always exciting - Matt had liked to tease him about how much he liked watching Shiro follow the same course every day, shaking his head and wondering if Keith would ever get bored of it. Matt preferred to spend his time studying while Shiro was busy, catching up on what scientific journals he could get his hands on, going against the Garrison's insistence on riders and dragons spending all their time together. Both Matt and Shiro had been happier when they didn't try to force themselves into that kind of co-dependence, Keith thought. ]
And, uh, after you're done, maybe we could... race to the shack? I've been working on my hover-bike, she goes really fast now.
[ it's probably vaguely seditious, to imply that the garrison isn't the absolute authority on managing dragons. perhaps it comes from shiro's own somewhat lackluster experience as a hatchling, waiting for that special, precious rider that would form some kind of intensely emotional bond with him at first glance, and waiting, and waiting. he'd been told to be patient, to be obedient, and he was sure to meet his match. there were other hatchlings from his clutch that hadn't found their partners immediately, either. it was a long, long time before he let himself consider the idea that just being obedient and learning his maneuvers was not going to automatically ensure him a rider. he would have to make something of himself, alone.
and matt, too, hadn't come from a proper rider background, and hadn't had the same lectures repeated at him that the other cadets did. matt had no illusions that he knew more about aerial combat than shiro himself. both of them were probably bad influences on keith, in hindsight.
it's considered gauche for someone who wasn't a rider to pet a dragon's face and the softer scales of the nose, and a responsible adult dragon wasn't supposed to encourage attachment. shiro deliberately ignores all of that, and hums approvingly under keith's hand, even angling his head to get keith to continue his petting. keith had never been awkward about touching him. ]
You've seen me run the obstacle course a thousand times, by now, [ he rumbles, pretending it's not endearing that keith never gets tired of watching him train. ] You'd rather race.
[ shiro would rather race too. the isolation of the desert highways appeals to him, along with the thought of a blazing hot sun and nice warm thermals, and he secretly, guiltily loved watching keith push his hover-bike into dangerous maneuvers at breakneck speed. ]
Loser has to scrub all the sand off the winner. [ he says, as if it's a given that he'll win, as there isn't much chance of him being able to groom keith in reverse. ]
And-- I should show you something, when we're alone.
[ In Keith's mind, it just makes sense to listen to a dragon when it comes to something like flying, something they can do naturally. He'd first been attracted to watching dragons flying, to watching Shiro flying, running the obstacle course, but it had been the mutual respect and friendship that he'd seen between Shiro and Matt that had really made him stick with the pair. The Garrison might have their reasons for pushing the ideas that they do, for drilling obedience into the dragons in their care, but Keith always thought it was strangely old-fashioned, and his distaste for the prevailing attitude has only intensified. Which might be something to do with Matt and Shiro's influence, but he's always had a bit of a rebellious streak in him, and it didn't help that he never bonded with a hatchling despite his own attempts at patience and obedience.
If he ever does bond with a dragon, he's determined to treat it the same way he does Shiro, more or less, even if the other riders and dragons at the Garrison look at him askance for it. They do already, anyway, because of how easily he touches Shiro's face despite not being a rider himself yet. Matt had never minded, and it made Shiro happy.
He smiles as Shiro hums in approval, and takes the hint to keep petting his face, stroking a hand over his nose, where the scales were softer. ]
Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm tired of it. [ He'd happily watch Shiro run the obstacle course another thousand times, but he has to admit that the dragon has a point. Racing with him is a little more exciting. ]
Oh, you're on. You'll be licking sand out of my hair in no time. [ His smile turns into a grin - there isn't much chance that he'll beat Shiro, realistically, but he never shies away from the challenge of it, especially when Shiro sounds so confident. ]
[ there, he's said it out loud, and now he can't shrink from the thought any longer. he's supposed to obediently report any changes that he notices, any memories he recovers of what's been done to him, but shiro wasn't hatched yesterday. the garrison is interested in what the galra did to him. eagerly, offensively interested. he knows better than to hand them the revelation that he's capable of changing his form, now.
but keith should know what's happening to him. keith is the one person that he knows, bone deep, won't betray his confidence, and maybe talking to keith about it will calm some of the panic he keeps suppressing. shapechanging is only supposed to happen to a dragon in a bonded pair, and after years of exposure to human DNA, or something along those lines. the human scientists were at a loss to explain its specific mechanics, and the dragons themselves didn't have any answers either. it was just something that happened, they said.
shiro is sure it's not something that just happened to him. the galra must have something to do with it, and that frightens him more than anything. only bonded dragons with long-term partners and deep emotional connections have ever been reported to shapeshift.
he doesn't let any of that anxiety into his voice or his manner, huffing over keith's hair to ruffle it into a mess. ]
I'll take a weight handicap, and ask one of the ground crews to put me in harness.
[ he says it like he's doing keith a favor, but the truth is he's uneasy these days about going anywhere without proper equipment for a battle. he doesn't care if it's unfounded paranoia. if anything, anything should happen, he has to be able to fight or flee and carry keith with him. his crew had been on the ground when they were attacked.
which is why he can't even carry the pretense that the harness is a whim, and after a bare second he puts his head down anxiously despite himself. ]
...and you should bring your flying harness. And a weapon. Just in case.
[ Keith has no idea what Shiro wants to show him, but it must be important if the dragon wants to keep it private between them. Even though he's just an unbonded cadet, he's noticed the way the Garrison officials and scientists look at Shiro sometimes, and it just - it pisses him off. So much about this situation makes him angry, a little ball of tension swirling in his gut that just won't go away.
Except for when he's with Shiro, alone, like this. Somehow, being around the dragon calms him down, lets him relax. He makes a mock-offended noise at having his hair so thoroughly messed up, and attempts to straighten it out.
He'd be offended at Shiro taking a weight handicap, but... then the dragon's anxiety shows itself, and Keith has to pause, voice getting softer. ]
Shiro...
[ He can't blame Shiro for wanting to be careful. They should be safe, the shack is out in the desert but it's not that far from the Garrison, well within safely protected territory. Galra raiding parties never get that deep, even when they manage to breach border defences. But still, if there's a chance that something could go wrong... ]
Nothing's going to happen. But I'll go get my harness - it'll even us up a little. [ Not that Keith's flying harness is anything like a comparable weight to Shiro's. ] And you know I'm always armed.
[ the teacher in him automatically wants to say something about keith carrying that knife everywhere, which matt had confirmed for him was not typical teenage human behavior. the paranoid part of him, however, approves. he'd known objectively that humans were small, vulnerable creatures without scales or natural weapons, he'd grown up seeing their successes and limitations in combat.
it had never bothered him as much as it does now. his tail lashes once, like a cat's, as he tries to make himself believe keith's assurance. of course it was highly unlikely that they'd be attacked so near the base, and of course shiro is an experienced veteran, well-trained in dozens of different emergency scenarios. this is normal for them, and vital for keith, who needs the outlet of escaping the base's walls from time to time. he doesn't know why he's acting like a newly bonded hatchling all of a sudden, spooking at shadows.
well. he does know, but he can't let himself dwell on his own feelings. the garrison doesn't have any use for dragons or soldiers that are afraid. ]
You're right. [ it would, he knows, be beyond irresponsible for him to encourage keith to carry a gun he doesn't have a permit for. ] I'm sure nothing will happen.
[ It wouldn't take much encouragement for Keith to try carrying a gun, and honestly, he'd considered mounting some onto his bike a few times. But not only would that potentially get him into some very deep water with the Garrison if he got caught, it would add weight to a bike that he's spent a long time tuning for its speed. It's a racer, and it would be stupid to compromise its speed in an attempt to make it anything else - if anything ever does happen, it'll be better to be able to outrun the enemy and escape to raise the alarm, rather than sacrificing that vital advantage.
Besides, he's going to be sticking close to Shiro. With a veteran dragon watching his back, he should be fine. Just being with Shiro makes him feel safer, calming some of his more paranoid instincts.
He's still never let go of his knife, though. ]
It won't. [ He reassures Shiro, again, then pats his nose and steps back. ] Alright, I'll meet you at the gate once I've got everything.
[ right. and if he doesn't let keith go get ready, this won't happen at all.
it takes longer than he'd like to get rigged out, mostly from him having to argue with the ground crews over why, exactly, he needed to be put in harness when he didn't have a captain or a specific assigned mission. more human rules, irritating in their restrictions on his freedom. after being held captive by a hostile force, it's more than a little maddening to be constrained by his own side.
but he argues, and the ground crews have other work to be done and no senior officer in sight to foist shiro off on, so they put him in a scout rig, the lightest and briefest harness. shiro almost says something about his desire for more armor, and swallows it down. that's just... something he needs to get over.
the flight tower accepts his request without question, at least, perhaps assuming by his rig that he was on assignment, or that the labcoats wanted him to perform for testing again. he lands at the gate in a flurry of wings, snorting the dust from his nostrils. ]
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but if he has too much free time now, at least he doesn't have to make excuses to anyone to find time for keith. matt had never minded, believing firmly that dragons should be allowed to have friends like any other sentient being, and he didn't care if keith and shiro spent time together or if shiro felt like going somewhere by himself. other riders had looked sideways at them for that, given the way the garrison deliberately preached about the unbreakable devotion between dragon and captain, but shiro had never felt like he was being disloyal or too independent just because he and matt didn't spend every second of the day together. there was no reason to encourage dragons to believe that they couldn't do anything when their riders were gone, and that all they had to do with their time was sit and wait, like a powered down machine, until their captain was with them again. and shiro liked being around the cadets and hatchlings, while most dragons were happy when their promotions to combat class got them away from the training facilities.
he ought to tell keith that he's fine, that he doesn't need to be fussed over just because he spaced out during a lesson. he's been aggressively fine ever since he got back, and he's practiced at faking it, but he ducks his head a little, unconsciously, rubbing a claw against the side of his head in rueful embarrassment. ]
I'm fine, Keith, I'm just-- a little tired. [ dragons can't smile, of course, but he noses at keith's shoulder gently. ] I don't have another class today, though, and all I was going to do today was practice maneuvers and maybe run the obstacle course. Did you have something in mind?
no subject
He raises a hand to pat Shiro's nose when the dragon bumps his shoulder with it, characteristically gentle in the motion, and he smiles with an eagerness that's been lacking from his life, lately. ]
I'd like to watch you run the obstacle course. [ Watching Shiro fly and navigate obstacles was always exciting - Matt had liked to tease him about how much he liked watching Shiro follow the same course every day, shaking his head and wondering if Keith would ever get bored of it. Matt preferred to spend his time studying while Shiro was busy, catching up on what scientific journals he could get his hands on, going against the Garrison's insistence on riders and dragons spending all their time together. Both Matt and Shiro had been happier when they didn't try to force themselves into that kind of co-dependence, Keith thought. ]
And, uh, after you're done, maybe we could... race to the shack? I've been working on my hover-bike, she goes really fast now.
no subject
and matt, too, hadn't come from a proper rider background, and hadn't had the same lectures repeated at him that the other cadets did. matt had no illusions that he knew more about aerial combat than shiro himself. both of them were probably bad influences on keith, in hindsight.
it's considered gauche for someone who wasn't a rider to pet a dragon's face and the softer scales of the nose, and a responsible adult dragon wasn't supposed to encourage attachment. shiro deliberately ignores all of that, and hums approvingly under keith's hand, even angling his head to get keith to continue his petting. keith had never been awkward about touching him. ]
You've seen me run the obstacle course a thousand times, by now, [ he rumbles, pretending it's not endearing that keith never gets tired of watching him train. ] You'd rather race.
[ shiro would rather race too. the isolation of the desert highways appeals to him, along with the thought of a blazing hot sun and nice warm thermals, and he secretly, guiltily loved watching keith push his hover-bike into dangerous maneuvers at breakneck speed. ]
Loser has to scrub all the sand off the winner. [ he says, as if it's a given that he'll win, as there isn't much chance of him being able to groom keith in reverse. ]
And-- I should show you something, when we're alone.
no subject
If he ever does bond with a dragon, he's determined to treat it the same way he does Shiro, more or less, even if the other riders and dragons at the Garrison look at him askance for it. They do already, anyway, because of how easily he touches Shiro's face despite not being a rider himself yet. Matt had never minded, and it made Shiro happy.
He smiles as Shiro hums in approval, and takes the hint to keep petting his face, stroking a hand over his nose, where the scales were softer. ]
Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm tired of it. [ He'd happily watch Shiro run the obstacle course another thousand times, but he has to admit that the dragon has a point. Racing with him is a little more exciting. ]
Oh, you're on. You'll be licking sand out of my hair in no time. [ His smile turns into a grin - there isn't much chance that he'll beat Shiro, realistically, but he never shies away from the challenge of it, especially when Shiro sounds so confident. ]
... Okay. Show me when we get to the shack.
no subject
but keith should know what's happening to him. keith is the one person that he knows, bone deep, won't betray his confidence, and maybe talking to keith about it will calm some of the panic he keeps suppressing. shapechanging is only supposed to happen to a dragon in a bonded pair, and after years of exposure to human DNA, or something along those lines. the human scientists were at a loss to explain its specific mechanics, and the dragons themselves didn't have any answers either. it was just something that happened, they said.
shiro is sure it's not something that just happened to him. the galra must have something to do with it, and that frightens him more than anything. only bonded dragons with long-term partners and deep emotional connections have ever been reported to shapeshift.
he doesn't let any of that anxiety into his voice or his manner, huffing over keith's hair to ruffle it into a mess. ]
I'll take a weight handicap, and ask one of the ground crews to put me in harness.
[ he says it like he's doing keith a favor, but the truth is he's uneasy these days about going anywhere without proper equipment for a battle. he doesn't care if it's unfounded paranoia. if anything, anything should happen, he has to be able to fight or flee and carry keith with him. his crew had been on the ground when they were attacked.
which is why he can't even carry the pretense that the harness is a whim, and after a bare second he puts his head down anxiously despite himself. ]
...and you should bring your flying harness. And a weapon. Just in case.
no subject
Except for when he's with Shiro, alone, like this. Somehow, being around the dragon calms him down, lets him relax. He makes a mock-offended noise at having his hair so thoroughly messed up, and attempts to straighten it out.
He'd be offended at Shiro taking a weight handicap, but... then the dragon's anxiety shows itself, and Keith has to pause, voice getting softer. ]
Shiro...
[ He can't blame Shiro for wanting to be careful. They should be safe, the shack is out in the desert but it's not that far from the Garrison, well within safely protected territory. Galra raiding parties never get that deep, even when they manage to breach border defences. But still, if there's a chance that something could go wrong... ]
Nothing's going to happen. But I'll go get my harness - it'll even us up a little. [ Not that Keith's flying harness is anything like a comparable weight to Shiro's. ] And you know I'm always armed.
no subject
it had never bothered him as much as it does now. his tail lashes once, like a cat's, as he tries to make himself believe keith's assurance. of course it was highly unlikely that they'd be attacked so near the base, and of course shiro is an experienced veteran, well-trained in dozens of different emergency scenarios. this is normal for them, and vital for keith, who needs the outlet of escaping the base's walls from time to time. he doesn't know why he's acting like a newly bonded hatchling all of a sudden, spooking at shadows.
well. he does know, but he can't let himself dwell on his own feelings. the garrison doesn't have any use for dragons or soldiers that are afraid. ]
You're right. [ it would, he knows, be beyond irresponsible for him to encourage keith to carry a gun he doesn't have a permit for. ] I'm sure nothing will happen.
no subject
Besides, he's going to be sticking close to Shiro. With a veteran dragon watching his back, he should be fine. Just being with Shiro makes him feel safer, calming some of his more paranoid instincts.
He's still never let go of his knife, though. ]
It won't. [ He reassures Shiro, again, then pats his nose and steps back. ] Alright, I'll meet you at the gate once I've got everything.
no subject
[ right. and if he doesn't let keith go get ready, this won't happen at all.
it takes longer than he'd like to get rigged out, mostly from him having to argue with the ground crews over why, exactly, he needed to be put in harness when he didn't have a captain or a specific assigned mission. more human rules, irritating in their restrictions on his freedom. after being held captive by a hostile force, it's more than a little maddening to be constrained by his own side.
but he argues, and the ground crews have other work to be done and no senior officer in sight to foist shiro off on, so they put him in a scout rig, the lightest and briefest harness. shiro almost says something about his desire for more armor, and swallows it down. that's just... something he needs to get over.
the flight tower accepts his request without question, at least, perhaps assuming by his rig that he was on assignment, or that the labcoats wanted him to perform for testing again. he lands at the gate in a flurry of wings, snorting the dust from his nostrils. ]
Ready to go?