Ratonhnhaké:ton | Connor (
salvaticus) wrote in
dappered2013-05-27 02:58 pm
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It begins to unravel the moment he hears the phaser fire a stun blast. Kirk is young and emotional, a boy captain trying to lead from the front lines, the weight of his command slowing his reactions (the fear, Khan can smell it on him) and he'd thought perhaps, perhaps, that it would be possible to accomplish his goals without sacrificing any unnecessary pawns. Marcus was one man with one ship. Destroying an entire planetary organization down to the last rivet was a project too ambitious for his resources as they were; he needed allies more than he needed comprehensive annihilation, at least until his people were safe.
Hitting the deck of the Vengeance abruptly rewrites his priorities. When he re-awakens it is like his first awakening all over again, no allies, no honor, just cause and effect and calculations as a hostile, lesser species attempts to coerce and corner him. The warm spatter of Marcus's blood on his hands is hardly enough to make up for everything. Firing upon the Enterprise is neither entertaining nor part of his retribution, it is merely closing off a loose end. Who can be trusted with seventy-two lives, these days? Certainly not the Federation. Perhaps not even Khan himself, although he is doing his best for them. He wishes briefly for their counsel, for their material assistance, but those are not the variables he has been given. He must do this alone.
And then he is alone, the damned Vulcan sees to that, and the equation becomes even simpler. Take what he has and destroy as much as he can with it. Go out like a dying star. Show them what they are dealing with, that he cannot be controlled, cannot be collared, cannot be reduced.
They do reduce him, in the end. One single phrase. "They are alive," and the medical officer requires his blood to save the boy captain's life, and the Vulcan watches him with eyes as flat and cold as a cobra's, waiting for the opportunity to strike. Vulcans are a curious race. Khan rather respects their practicality, but they are so rarely brutal. This one is something new.
The Vulcan does not demand his cooperation, for demands can be refused. The Vulcan states what is and what will be, you will be held in custody until no further blood transfusions are required, you will then be tried as a criminal for the acts you committed as John Harrison, and what Khan really hears is 'I will kill you myself if he does not wake up.'
He accepts these terms, for he can do nothing else with his crew being held hostage. Again. His blood is a potent drug and the boy captain's body can only assimilate small amounts of it at a time. Khan is to be his personal blood bank for the foreseeable future, a shadow in the hospital and aboard the Enterprise for as long as it takes Kirk to recover completely. He wears shackles and a collar with a detonation device implanted inside (and sedatives, but Khan is under no illusions that the Vulcan who carries the codes will hesitate to choose the more lethal option) and a dark gray civilian jumpsuit with no insignia, no weapons, no access codes. 'Khan' is a tangled problem for the decimated Federation Command to wrestle over, he is John Harrison for the duration of his custody. Bones is happy to exclaim over the miracles in his DNA, happy to see the miraculous improvement in a radiation victim, but Khan doesn't answer his barrage of questions. He doesn't answer the interrogators that come to pry information out of him. He doesn't answer the Admiral's daughter, or Uhura, or the Vulcan, although he doesn't need to, as the Vulcan merely takes the data he requires out of Khan's mind until Khan learns how to block him out.
And then the boy captain wakes up and, with all his typical brashness, insists that he's fit for command. He wants to be present for the repairs. He wants his ship and his crew, argues that the medical bay there can treat the rest of his condition as well as an Earthside hospital can. He wants his chair back. He wants to know what happened to the Augments.
The cell walls are not as thick as people imagine them to be. Khan hears things, and the next time Bones comes by to take some of his blood, he speaks aloud for the first time in weeks, his voice rusty with disuse. He recites his name and serial number as a proper POW would, and waits to be taken to the captain.
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(You know radiation affects bone marrow?)
But he doesn't let himself think about it, get lost in it. He has to be at his best, he has to push and recover. His resolve is cracked at the foundations but not broken, he just has to survive. Endure.
Dying haunts his dreams and chases the shadows of his waking thoughts, but living takes up the rest of it. He keeps himself busy writing reports and checking on everyone else's health and well-being. Writing letters to the families of those that he lost. It's an exercise in masochism, he doesn't even know if he'll ever send them (be allowed to send them, per Federation regulations) but it's... cathartic, to get it out. It keeps him humble.
'You don't respect the chair' Pike had told him. But Pike's dead and rotting in a Federation mausoleum somewhere and all Jim can think about is the fact that Khan's blood could have saved him if they'd known about its restorative properties. He doesn't think about that. He can't. It's like looking into an abyss and you know what? Maybe he's not ready for that, either.
It's a bitter thought, harsh and cold and self-flagellatory, and Jim clenches his hands until his knuckles are white with anger. He feels a lot of that these days, and he recognizes it as a symptom of his younger years. When he was so sure he was going to coast through life meaning nothing to anyone, when he was so tangled up in his father's legacy he couldn't even think about the consequence of carving his own.
Spock cried for him.
That still weirds him out.
They're well into the gamma shift when Bones calls him up on the comm, and Jim reaches out to steady the punching bag he's been whaling on for the better part of an hour. He tells everyone it's to build his strength back up, but the fact of the matter is he doesn't even need to. He's stronger than he was before and that-- it terrifies him. Khan's blood. Pulsing in his veins, through his heart, under his skin and sometimes he thinks he can even localize the way it burns. It saved his life, but he wants it gone. It feels too much like being in his debt, and Jim-- he hate that more than anything.
"Khan wants to talk to you," Bones' drawls, but the sheer cold of space is in his tone. "I think. Bastard just started reciting his credentials last time I bled him like a pig."
Jim starts unwrapping his knuckles. He'd been hitting the bag with everything he had but the skin stretched across the fine bones of his hands is completely without bruising. He flexes them. "I'm on my way, just-- clear everyone out, okay?"
"Jim--" Bones says, and it sounds like an argument waiting to happen. Something in him snaps.
"Kirk out." He hits the communicator harder than he needs to, and it sparks. Jim stares at it with venom, and leaves the grav-gym, pulling his black undershirt on over his head as he goes.
When he gets to the brig, there's absolutely no trace of emotion on his face. He's done showing this man his vulnerabilities.
"You wanted to see me?"
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The boy captain is looking much better now, certainly, as well he might considering what is coursing through his veins. Khan delays his response, allowing his eyes to travel steadily over Kirk's frame, gauging. His pulse is elevated slightly, despite the blankness of his features, and his fists keep clenching and unclenching.
Khan stands perfectly in the middle of his now accustomed cell, at something like parade rest with his hands held loosely at his sides. It's almost a faithful recreation of the last time they'd spoken through the shield of a cell door.
"Captain." He keeps his voice flat and incurious and his gaze travelling, not meeting Kirk's eyes because it will infuriate him.
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"You remembered. I'm touched."
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"How could I forget." There's a hint of sarcasm, dry as dust, but he's moving on almost before the sentence is complete.
"I'll presume that you've been informed about the terms of my custody arrangements?"
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Jim brings down the wall of the brig and steps inside. Brings it back up. Sits on the bench opposite Khan.
"What of them?"
The anger is washed out of his tone, gone from his shoulders. It's there. God, it's still there, but he's buried it deeper than the dead he carries with him now.
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He tracks Kirk automatically, however, never giving the impression that his attention is divided, and tilts his head ever so slightly at the boy captain's deliberate denial of his emotions, acknowledging. Kirk considers himself the betrayed, here, and that would be amusing if it weren't detrimental.
"Doctor McCoy has not been very forthcoming with information about your condition. By my count, you've been given thirty-seven doses of my blood, if not more." He pins Kirk with an inhuman blue stare.
"I was simply wondering how well you were taking it."
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"So I guess it's working out pretty well for one of us. Nice trick, by the way. I bet that you just hate that you're being used like a lab rat to save my life, huh? I bet that burns."
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It hardly needs to be told that there had been no official sanction of Bones's decision to give Kirk his blood, and even Section 31's files on Khan's biochemistry are sketchy and full of speculation. Admiral Marcus had kept private files with more detailed information, but that was data Khan had seen destroyed. As far as Starfleet is concerned, these transfusions could be doing just about anything to Kirk, and Khan is willing to bet that they-- or Section 31-- are going to come sniffing around asking pointed questions sooner or later.
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"Were you told that?" he asks, without gentleness.
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"Were you going to tell me something I don't already know, I wonder. Their location. The intentions of your government." Now he does smile, without humor and without referencing Marcus, knowing Kirk will pick up the implication anyway. "What you'll do to them if I don't cooperate?"
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"So no. I'm not going to hold them over your head. You saved my life. I'm not turning them over to the Federation. And I don't murder," and that word is stressed ever-so-faintly, "innocent people. They're safe and they'll stay that way, you have my word. But this thing - whatever it is - with you and me? I promise you, it's not finished."
Jim cants his head to one side, drops his hand away from his knee. "Would you have let my crew live if I hadn't stunned you?"
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But the question, that question, almost moves him to irritation, and he shifts his weight for the first time in their entire conversation, impatient. The fact that Kirk had chosen to have his man fire on him in the first place clearly indicated that their alliance had been at the end of its usefulness.
"If I could not convince you of my intentions when we had a common goal, I will not waste my time doing so now." He glances out the transparent wall of the cell, noting absently the changing of the guard shift. "A prisoner will say anything to his captor."
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"Try me."
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Or perhaps the Vulcan had not chosen to speak to his captain about that little incident. He'd tried a mind meld during their struggle, and in it Khan had seen Spock's own madness very clearly. It's been a warming thought during all their dealings afterwards, where the Vulcan does not allow his gaze to settle and speaks instead to the air over Khan's left shoulder.
"Yes, Captain," he answers at last, patiently, catering to what he clearly considers an obvious question with an obvious answer. "I had thought to spare them, as they were sheltering my crew at the time."
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Now, however, he's something different.
"I wanted to see your progress for myself--"
Before the word is entirely finished, however, he shifts his weight into a combat stance, ready to lead off into an attack from the right, not to actually execute the motion but to test Kirk's reflexes and confirm his own suspicions about those supposed non-existent side effects.
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Then again, he doubts it would fix one of Khan's brain pancake specials. But in that case, the only thing he'd accomplish is jeopardizing his own crew.
Jim wouldn't do that, in Khan's position. He doubts the man himself would.
So he just raises an eyebrow. "You done?"
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"Not just yet. I have a request for you, Captain, and some advice if you care to listen."
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"Move my crew. Wherever they are, wherever you think they're safe, they are not. Move them and keep moving them. Irregular schedules. Split them up if you must."
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"I don't owe you any favours," he grounds out, instead.
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If you promise their safety, you will have my obedience. No tricks, no traps. I will keep you alive and unfettered with all of my considerable ability." He turns his head, just enough to speak the words directly into the hinge of Kirk's jawbone, pretending his interest isn't in the fluttering pulse directly beneath. "They're going to come for you, as well. It's already started inside you, and they're going to find out. Creatures like us don't get to walk free."
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But he's not afraid. Just distinctly uncomfortable, and he's not going to give Khan the satisfaction of seeing him sweat.
Bones' official report - and Spock's, which surprised him - as well as the testimonials of everyone on the ship tell the story of how Jim Kirk, recently radioactive, was stuffed full of drugs by the fast action and invaluable skills of the CMO and staff, flatlined once, and came back. That's it.
And it's not like it's not true. It's just... technicalities. Spock had told him that.
"First of all," he says, sliding sideways, away from Khan. "I do a pretty good job of keeping myself alive and unfettered. Second, when I say your crew is safe I mean that more than you can possibly understand. We detonated those missiles, Khan. That's what they know, that's all they know. And I already told you, nothing's changed."
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Khan makes no move to deter Kirk, only watches him sidle away, filing that information.
"You'll be able to hide it successfully for a time, depending on how your body reacts. It's different for everyone. But someone is going to notice, eventually."
Indifferently, "As I said, I am willing to aid you despite our... history. If you cannot accept that, then I can only conclude that soon enough I will be in another's custody, and making new deals, as you will certainly be dead or locked away."
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"It would be far more efficient to kill me. Fewer questions, although I imagine there will still be an investigation into the sudden disappearance of Earth's most wanted terrorist. Or are you attempting to get your crew used to lying to the Federation for you?"
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"You don't get to talk to me about my crew."
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"Is that guilt, Captain? A recently renewed vow to do better for them in the future? Perhaps you're regretting some of the actions you took during this little misadventure."
You know like offering Khan up to Marcus as part of a bargain where Khan could hear and then demanding his help and also shooting him in the back.
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He remembers people falling past him when the Enterprise twisted in the air and the gravity failed, not being able to catch them. Hearing them scream.
Maybe that's why he went into that core. It was atonement as much as sacrifice. I'm sorry I couldn't save them.
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"Please, sir. I'll do anything you want. Just let them live."
If Kirk imagines for one moment that Khan is anything less than a desperate man in that same position, that Khan will accept admonishment over his actions or hesitate to be so brutal in the future, he is sorely mistaken.
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It might seem like it's out of left field, but it's not. Not really. Jim's expression is back to being restrained, and his tone is downright bland.
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"Once upon a time."
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"You were not lying when you offered him 'anything.' Or should I have been expected to believe that you would value my custody over the lives of your crew?"
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"I understood what you were offering at the time."
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Yeah, he's mad.