( what the fuck. he has to bite down the initial urge to lick lance's hand or, more appropriately, bite it, to keep enforcing his emotional agenda on the husk that used to be shiro, who's now just -- lost. he wishes he could. lance reminds him without words that they're holding up an act regardless, and he settles even if the emotion doesn't wipe off his face, even if he makes no attempts to look appealing beside lance, or curve his body the way he knows the galra like, girlish and handsome with muscles. he just stands there, barnacled off of, fighting to stare at shiro even when lance tugs his face away, hiding in his shoulder, pulling at his hair. his teeth grit, but he stays silent.
until shiro touches his shoulder and there's an honest whine behind lance's hand, furrowed eyebrows growing pleading instead of angry -- shiro remains the one person who can do this, who can turn anger in keith into healthier emotions, who tricks keith into feeling things he always represses and interprets as rage. he isn't mad about wasted time, about countless alien men who have torn their way inside him and lance alike, who have watched by while he's had his way with lance for the amusement of the spectator. he isn't mad this was for nothing, the torture and the fighting, to rescue someone who clearly doesn't need to be rescued. he isn't mad. he's just empty, hollowed out with grief. his eyes are shiny on shiro's back as he turns away, fighting against lance's hold again like he might go out and touch him, no, don't leave us again and too late, you've already hurt me.
when he collects their leashes, keith goes pliant again, roughly picking off lance's hand to interlace their fingers again, pretending like he's playing the part of someone to be consoled. he follows wherever shiro's footsteps guide them, not bothering to look back at sendak to see his smug face. )
same tbh????
until shiro touches his shoulder and there's an honest whine behind lance's hand, furrowed eyebrows growing pleading instead of angry -- shiro remains the one person who can do this, who can turn anger in keith into healthier emotions, who tricks keith into feeling things he always represses and interprets as rage. he isn't mad about wasted time, about countless alien men who have torn their way inside him and lance alike, who have watched by while he's had his way with lance for the amusement of the spectator. he isn't mad this was for nothing, the torture and the fighting, to rescue someone who clearly doesn't need to be rescued. he isn't mad. he's just empty, hollowed out with grief. his eyes are shiny on shiro's back as he turns away, fighting against lance's hold again like he might go out and touch him, no, don't leave us again and too late, you've already hurt me.
when he collects their leashes, keith goes pliant again, roughly picking off lance's hand to interlace their fingers again, pretending like he's playing the part of someone to be consoled. he follows wherever shiro's footsteps guide them, not bothering to look back at sendak to see his smug face. )