[ the anger is gone, wiped clear off his face and replaced by stricken shock. that's not supposed to be something steve would ever say or admit to-- wanting to end someone, wanting to end himself. Even when he'd been coughing his lungs up he'd never given in to despair.
Then it's back. Not the twisty, half jealous anger over Steve getting his new body, his new life, but white hot fury. Steve wasn't supposed to let the war change him. Steve was supposed to stay good, stay uncompromising, and go home whole when bucky couldn't. ]
You goddamned idiot. [ his voice shakes. His hands shake.]
Is that what you think I'd want? If we didn't go together, that you needed to catch up? I wanted you to promise that you'd stay alive.
no subject
[ the anger is gone, wiped clear off his face and replaced by stricken shock. that's not supposed to be something steve would ever say or admit to-- wanting to end someone, wanting to end himself. Even when he'd been coughing his lungs up he'd never given in to despair.
Then it's back. Not the twisty, half jealous anger over Steve getting his new body, his new life, but white hot fury. Steve wasn't supposed to let the war change him. Steve was supposed to stay good, stay uncompromising, and go home whole when bucky couldn't. ]
You goddamned idiot. [ his voice shakes. His hands shake.]
Is that what you think I'd want? If we didn't go together, that you needed to catch up? I wanted you to promise that you'd stay alive.