[ his head snaps up and he stares in - in horror, really, the wide-eyed kind of fear that's become an old friend to him. it's what he's dreamt of most through all the years, no matter how long on or off the ice, no matter how many times they took it away from him.
there's a train, and he's falling, and every time, steve just barely misses him. the last time he heard his name for seventy years was on the anguished cry of his best guy thinking he'd failed him. and that - that's what scares him. ]
I never once blamed you.
[ he doesn't realize it's true until the words leave his lips, ragged and whispered like the world's most important secret. it sticks in his throat and he means it, even if this steve can't know that cold sting of winter the way they do. ]
Not ever. You - don't forget that. You save me.
[ present tense. he knows fuck all about changing the past or what's in the future, barely even has a grasp on now. but. it seems important to say. not ever. ]
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there's a train, and he's falling, and every time, steve just barely misses him. the last time he heard his name for seventy years was on the anguished cry of his best guy thinking he'd failed him. and that - that's what scares him. ]
I never once blamed you.
[ he doesn't realize it's true until the words leave his lips, ragged and whispered like the world's most important secret. it sticks in his throat and he means it, even if this steve can't know that cold sting of winter the way they do. ]
Not ever. You - don't forget that. You save me.
[ present tense. he knows fuck all about changing the past or what's in the future, barely even has a grasp on now. but. it seems important to say. not ever. ]