[ Well, more or less. He's not quite sure what it's supposed to feel like anymore, but he's very sure that he comes very close to it when he's around Bucky, when they're connecting with each other and Steve's entire world comes down to just him alone.
It doesn't matter that it's difficult, that it's painful and rough for them both -- and most especially for Bucky. Steve can dismiss his own struggles, because none of it can match up to what Bucky's been through all these years. Steve had failed him, and he has to make up for it.
He reaches out after a moment, hesitant before he puts his hand on Bucky's, flesh over metal (that arm had sickened him at first, especially after he'd realized the agony Bucky had been put through for it, the excruciating pain, the terror). But now, it's a part of him that Steve has come to love, too, for the sole reason that it's a part of him.
Steve hasn't touched him in a long, long time, and a part of him fears that Bucky will bolt -- but he has to take that chance. He attempts to smile, his eyes warm, tender. ] You make me happy. Or at least something pretty close to it -- but mine shouldn't matter as much as yours.
/gently smushes them together c:
[ Well, more or less. He's not quite sure what it's supposed to feel like anymore, but he's very sure that he comes very close to it when he's around Bucky, when they're connecting with each other and Steve's entire world comes down to just him alone.
It doesn't matter that it's difficult, that it's painful and rough for them both -- and most especially for Bucky. Steve can dismiss his own struggles, because none of it can match up to what Bucky's been through all these years. Steve had failed him, and he has to make up for it.
He reaches out after a moment, hesitant before he puts his hand on Bucky's, flesh over metal (that arm had sickened him at first, especially after he'd realized the agony Bucky had been put through for it, the excruciating pain, the terror). But now, it's a part of him that Steve has come to love, too, for the sole reason that it's a part of him.
Steve hasn't touched him in a long, long time, and a part of him fears that Bucky will bolt -- but he has to take that chance. He attempts to smile, his eyes warm, tender. ] You make me happy. Or at least something pretty close to it -- but mine shouldn't matter as much as yours.